It’s Hard For Men To Cry

In an adult f/m spanking the dominate tops job is easy and straight forward. The top just needs to get into the mind set of totally controlling the bottom, exert their will and get to work. The submissive bottoms job is considerably more complex! Spankings are very intimidating and bottoms experience more than the obvious physical swats. Bottoms mentally struggle with a multitude of concerns, fears, and emotions before a spanking even starts. Real spankings happen only when the bottom gives total physical, mental and emotional control to the dominate top. For the bottom, submission means total freedom. Female bottoms seem to deal much better with all these issues and anxieties than male bottoms. Women generally are more easily submissive and “get into” a spanking easier than a man can. This explains why it’s harder for a man to enjoy a good spanking!

Once a spanking starts the male bottoms mind is quickly flooded and overwhelmed by the physical sensations, the sounds, anxiety, fear, and emotions. Male bottoms naturally fight to control themselves and their emotions. Getting past that point of trying to stay in control is much more difficult for male bottoms then it is for female bottoms. Men tend to act the way they think the top wants them to act, or in a way he imagines he’s supposed too. In other words, men are going to be faking everything! Male bottoms usually need the controlling tops permission and extra help before they loose their self control. It starts by giving him permission to loose control of himself when he first slides across your knee in part 1 of the spanking. This gets his mind set ready. Give him permission again when you start and during part 2 of the spanking. Give him permission again when you start part 3. You’re actually reminding him of what you expect and want him to do! During the spanking in-spite of apparent appearances, the male bottoms mind is having a huge mental struggle with issues and he’s fighting to control himself.

Sometimes the question comes up of what is this permission supposed to sound like, or what should be said. There is no magical phrase. Go with what ever your comfortable with, in the tone of voice you think will be effective. Here’s a few ideas:

• “It’s okay to let go dear. Don’t hold anything back, don’t be afraid, just let go with your natural feelings.”

• “Come on honey, I want you to just loose all your self control just for me. Don’t be afraid, I will make me so happy!”

• “It’s really okay with me if you want to just let go. I’d really like that, don’t hold anything back”

Our goal is for the male bottom to go with all the genuine sensations and emotions he’s now feeling. In part 3 of a spanking the sounds, feelings and emotions are mentally flooding through the bottoms mind. Men are sub-consciously programmed to hold onto their dignity and self control, it’s not “macho” to loose it! If he’s not letting go of his self control, he’s not being submissive to you as the dominate top. Until the bottom is totally submissive to you, the spanking is a total fake. Even experienced male bottoms resist full submission subconsciously. Full submission actually means freedom. Submission means giving total physical, mental, and emotional self control up. Submission frees the bottom of all artificial self imposed responsibilities and just going with the bodies natural reactions and emotions to a spanking.

By the time you as a dominate top have moved to part 3 of the spanking you’ve planted the ideas of what you want him to do. Remind him 2 more times during the 1st and 2nd sensual butt rub in part 3. He needs to keep hearing that as a dominate top this is what you want him to do! For a few male bottoms this might be all it takes and he can open up and fully submit to you on his own. That would be unusual though, the majority of male bottoms need extra help! Remember that any resistance of the bottom to fully opening themselves up to the spanking experience means that you as a top are not really in control! It is the bottoms job to do exactly and completely what the top says and requests.

After giving him permissions these last 2 times, if you don’t see a big noticeable honest change in his reactions, you can be assured he’s still faking it. Now is the time he needs your help if you actually want his total involvement in the spanking. Start by giving him permission as you have before. Than without any warning, immediately follow it up with a volley of 4 or 5 very solid hard swats. These swats don’t have to be extreme, just hard and different enough to get the male bottoms full attention. Rub his butt, gently reinforce the fact you really want him to really let go and submit to you. Repeat the volley of hard swats, adding more swats and making them harder each time. Repeat this over and over, back to back rounds of hard volleys, and butt rubs with permissions until he gives in! My own experience tells me this is guaranteed to work! My wife has used this technique on me more than once. It simply becomes too much for even my stubborn little mind to deal with. I think it’s the surprise intense sensations of those volleys and my wife’s reassuring voice that do it. It drives everything out of my head and it becomes the only thought I have left, than it finally just happens. My self control suddenly crumbles on it’s own. It‘s a physical and mental feeling of release!!!!

As a top you’ll know when your bottom gives in and looses all his self control, it’s an actual break through! Remember it’s not pain and hurt your going to be seeing! It will be the bodies natural uncontrollable reaction to the sensations of the spanking and swats. He’ll experience a huge emotional and mental release of the anxieties, tensions and fears. You can expect a noisy open display of uncontrollable yelling, swearing, screaming, kicking, wiggling, sometimes even crying! (Yes sometimes grown men cry and it’s okay!) It now becomes very important for the top to continually and gently reinforce the bottoms lose of self control or the bottom will struggle to regain it. During the rest of the spanking assure the bottom it’s okay to move, yell, cry, etc. Since you are dominate, the now submissive bottom needs to hear it’s exactly what you want them to be doing!

Now for the first time the spanking is a real honest spanking! As a top, just relax and enjoy the splendid show the bottom is going to honestly perform in your lap. Continue the spanking with level 3 groups, butt rubbings, and reassurances. Reduce the intensity for a little while, it will help his butt recover from those hard volleys. Don’t worry, no damage or harm will be done and the bottom is now actually in full submission. Don’t be surprised if he asks you to spank him harder and harder - he’s submitting to your authority!!! Continue the spanking, the bottom will tell you to stop if it hurts or they’ve had enough! Vist My Amateur Site For Real Pictures & Videos!