How to Tell Your Wife You Want To Be Really Spanked!
I’ve spent a lot of time reading everything I can find on F/M spanking relationships. I’ve read a lot of posts by men who are frustrated and don’t know how to tell their wife what it is that they want and crave.
So, I decided to write a little F/M Spanking “Primer” from a wife to guys that a guy could copy, edit and print off. Then place it under his wife’s coffee mug some morning….
No, better place it on top of the mug otherwise she might not see it. Then all you’ll have to do is place a nice hairbrush or other scary implement on her pillow or dresser and patiently wait for the fireworks to start.
A Real F/M Spanking In Progress
So here is how to tell you’re wife you want her to spank you.
The reason you are reading this is because the man in your life has something to tell you that he doesn’t know how to vocalize. How can that be? For as long as you’ve known him, he certainly has never before been at a loss of words. Well this subject can be sensitive, he doesn’t know how you will react or what you will think of him. He wants to change the doubt that he has for this and any other subject, he wants to build a firm foundation of trust and communication for not only this subject but for all subjects so he can know that he can talk to you about anything. Ok, this is already starting to sound like it’s going to be a major pain in the butt, well it will be a lot of work and require a major time commitment for both of us. Let me assure you, it certainly will be a major pain in the butt, the good news it won’t be your butt.
A Strong Man
Your man is probably a strong confident man of character, perhaps well educated but none the less he just about always knows what he wants and seldom if ever hesitates to do whatever is necessary. If he works outside the home he may hold a position of authority with responsibilities that he handles skillfully and or charge of a number of employees. So how can it be that a man who may be strong in so many ways has such a difficult time letting you know what he really wants you to now do. Because, there are sometimes things he doesn’t want to be strong about, at least without your help. There’s something that he wants you to do instead… he wants you to take a more active part in your relationship. He wants you to hold him accountable for his safety, attitude and responsibilities. If he endangers himself, or anyone else for that matter by doing something foolish like driving home after having too many cocktails with his friends… Well, he wants you to take action that will prevent him from ever doing it again! If he was moody, rude, or down right bitchy to you, or for that matter anyone… Well he wants you to take action that will make him think twice next time before opening his mouth and inserting foot. If he kept putting off writing the check for the credit card and now it’s late… Well he wants you to take action that will make him want to get those things done that he knows he has to do. He wants you to teach him a lesson that he will be able to remember for a long, long time.
There are other things too.
The next time you two argue, he wants you to put your foot down and lay down the law that there won’t be any more arguing. He wants you to say “That will be quite enough, we’ll talk about this later when cooler heads prevail!”. He doesn’t want you to make a major decision without his input or agreement, but he does want you to take control of the debate when it’s in danger of being an argument. He wants you to take action. No stupid, not action on the subject, action on the method of conversation. If he should fail to respect your decision that it wasn’t a conversation, if he doesn’t accept and respect your opinion that no progress was being made, just the same points being berated and restated in louder volumes. If he fails to respect you in any manner during the incident he wants you to take action so that he’ll never do that again. If he does ever forget in the future, he wants to know that you will not tolerate it without consequences. You see he’s not asking you to make his decisions for him, he’s looking for emotional support and a somewhat constant reinforcement of care and love with your consistent involvement in how you communicate. Now go back and reread this paragraph at least three times, and take notes… no hi-liter on the monitor please.
He's About Ready To Start Crying!
Why does he want these things?
Because as a man the most sensual and powerful attractant that draws him to you is his respect for you. No, forget it, it’s not your pride and joy swinging hiding between your legs, he would happily settle for a less lovely woman, if there is such a thing. It’s not your magical fingers that he enjoys so much. No, it’s not those things that you do with your tongue either. All those things are icing, the real cake is the leadership that you can, or rightfully should provide him as a man. He wants to respect you. He also wants you to respect him, but you already knew that, he’s probably screamed it at you a hundred times. The good news here if you so choose, you can take action to insure that he never screams at you again, well he might, once.
What brings these things out in a man?
Simple, if you didn’t notice he’s different from you. No, not just those spots. He thinks differently than you do. Much of what goes on in his mind can become a mix of uncontrollable emotions that build up to an intolerable level, he’s not happy, he might be confused, he wants you to help him. He does know what he wants, he wants to let all of it go with a good cry. He wants to be leaning on your shoulder, telling you everything, sobbing and clearing him head and heart of all the pent up emotions and unsaid things, having you listen, having you forgiver him, having you tell him it will all be alright. In other words dim-wit… he wants you to spank him. No, not sensual play although he might like that too. He wants a real old fashioned over the knee, you’re going to remember this for a long, long time and never do it again butt stinging, bottom throbbing cheek burning spanking. However before you even think about giving him what he wants and needs you really do need to know how to do it right. No, you do not. Pay attention and do some other research elsewhere too. If you do it wrong, it will make things much worse and you’ll never be able to explain it to the domestic relations people.
Now you have to be asking yourself why in the world would a man who’s committed to protecting you, want you to spank him?
Well, he doesn’t really want you to cause him extreme pain, he doesn’t want to be hurt at all. In fact if you do it properly he will be crying, screaming and begging you to stop, but you can not. He knows it’s going to be painful for him and an experience that he in fact really doesn’t want to have. He does however know that it does have to happen for the sake of the relationship. He knows that his sore bottom will bring a rush of tears and eventually a flood of emotions out that will give him a much needed release. Ultimately he will gain a new found respect for the woman who loves him enough to spank him for his own good and the good of your relationship.
What is all this about?
It doesn’t really matter what name you give it though this is commonly known as Erotic Spanking. It borrows some terms and methods from BDSM, but that’s about where the connection ends. There are limitless variations and some refer to it as being “Taken in Hand”. Often associated with the Queen’s English way of referring to these actions, such as “Her husband’s punishment for the incident, when she promptly took matters in hand”.
What is it not?
As you read the hundreds of works available on the Internet you will likely find hundreds of opinions on this. Whatever it’s worth, this really is not a licensed subsidiary of BDSM. You may or may not have had experience with BDSM, it really is a very large, broad label that covers what seams to be a limitless number of activities. BDSM often involves pleasure gained by giving discipline or being disciplined, binding or being bound, enjoying the heightened pleasure brought on by the flow of endorphins in response to pain. Arousal from getting or giving power or pain, it doesn’t need a reason, it just works toward the goal of heightened sexual pleasure.
Maybe He’s A Secret Spanko
Could it be that the reason that he wants to be spanked is that he just gets some kinky pleasure from being spanked? Well in all honesty, maybe. Some men do derive sexual excitement at the thought of being ged. But if that’s all he wanted, that’s all he would have asked for. No matter what he probably will be sexually aroused by the thought of you spanking him. Many men who actively practice a F/M spanking lifestyle with their mate report that the thought of their significant other taking action is what excites them, not the pain.
Real F/M Spanking Tied To A Table
Why spanking?
There may very well be times that you don’t even have to spank your partner if that’s what’s right for you and your partner at the time. Many couples integrate other forms of sex play their relationship. Few things, other than spankings, bring that instant rush of tears that a good spanking will. They will however remind him of your authority, the authority that he freely and willingly gives you. Remember that behavior is not in the butt, the butt is simply a very effective conduit to the brain. The required submission, humiliation and sting of a spanking are all pointed at the brain.
Fairness and Consistency
Trust and Communication are absolutely paramount as you move together to this lifestyle. This isn’t a one way street, it happens with him consent. That’s right, he’s giving you permission to control his behavior, and he has the right to revoke it at any time. That’s not likely to happen unless you fail to do your job properly and that’s with fairness and consistency. As you begin to research this topic you will notice that many women who spank their men, actually enjoy it.
Doesn’t seem fair does it?
Well for a very few couples it’s not. The man just might find himself over his ladies knee someday too. Stop grinning, if you are one of those couples you just might find yourself unable to walk or sit for a day or two… or more. Bouncing around on the internet you are likely to find a thing called “The Spencer Plan”, not sure if it’s real or fake, but there are actually couples that follow some form of household similar to it. Allegedly composed by a woman doctor in the early half of the 20th century the Spencer Plan states that a wife must always be spanked bare hand while a husband must always be whipped with a leather strap or paddle. This justice is administered for infractions determined by their contracts to one another.
